You have a choice.​ ​

Choice is a creation​
To choose is to create​ Through my choices, I create my reality​ Such powerful words by Tal Ben Shaher​
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When I reflect on these words the first time it sounds so good, and really so easy.​ As my go-to mantra has been, “our thoughts create our reality”. Again very powerful, but is it that easy?​
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No, it’s not easy, we have a choice in any circumstance to choose; yet we are not robots our emotions do run away in opposite direction to logic.​ Most times we are judged on our flaws and mistakes, look around us to truly acknowledge how judgmental we as humans are of each other.​
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How much we are driven by our ego.​
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Let’s rewind to the beginning, no one came into this world with any pre-conceived idea, yet over time we began to make meaning of the world around us.​
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I always say this very loudly, that we have inherited the major part of our personality, our name, our complete identity, which is religion, traditions and belief systems.​
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Belief systems are the most dangerous package that we carry through our life; we see everything through this magnifying glass that is a kaleidoscope of myriad images, each changing as per the situation.​
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Beliefs are those metrics that we have thought to be an absolute truth, however in reality it’s a relative truth unique to our circumstance.​For example, if you grew up in a patriarchal household and where it was believed that men were superior, maybe because the mother did not work, and the men worked and were the primary bread earners.​

Now in the same household, the girl child grows up works equally hard at school, probably does better than the male child.​
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Countless research shows girls outperforming boys.​ The Bronfenbrenner Center for Translational Research​ Evidence-Based Living​ Do Girls Perform Better in School?​ Research explores gender differences in the classroom.​ Posted Aug 23, 2018 ​This is not limited to language but in math and science too. In stem studies, girls are outperforming boys.​
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But sadly she does not get an equal chance, she enters puberty and the society-dominated picture of how a woman should be, how she would behave in a certain way, all create the guidelines for her future. ​
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The unmet needs of girls from an early age till the end is endless, even educated brothers at home feel that their sisters have to be a certain way. And if they are not then it’s a failing. ​
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Strong opinionated women are seen as aggressive, they are not “woman like “. It’s ironic that when you “Google” the word “opinionated”, although as a word it is not considered negative it has now got a negative connotation!​
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It applies more in Eastern countries, as the sacrificial mother of all is revered at home and in society. I have heard men my age talk about how their mothers have borne so many hardships and kept quiet. Keeping quiet and going dumb is applauded!​
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The other dominant influence is religion and movies.​
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See in both instances, Sita who was subjected to all forms of trials to prove her chastity and being pure in a virgin sense is the crown bearer title.​
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In Bollywood movies, the sacrificing mother is the hero, the one that cries and bears it all for her family. That’s the stereotype that has become the perfect mother.​
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So the male child who sees this and his mother slave away to pander to the ego of the man believes this is gospel truth.​
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Belief systems filter into other important aspects such as money, work, and relationships there are so many different ideas that have become absolute truths to us.​
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If you grew up in a home where it was believed that money was hard, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.​

Or if you thought relationships are meant to be happy without any effort, you are in for a big cake of disappointment.​
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Or if women are meant to be a certain way, then any relationship with women is in for a disaster.​
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Men pay a lot of importance to work, but they don’t realize that work is a part of life, not life. Stress is how we take a problem; the problem may or may not be stressful.​
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We have a choice to choose life and its glories. A good starting point is to look at your beliefs and see if they are aligned with your life’s success and happiness.​
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Written by: Farhana Vohra